I have No Strong Feelings About That

I don’t know that I have strong enough feelings to blog.  I’m new to the blogosphere.  I mean, I have a couple coupon blogs I keep up with, but I haven’t really followed anyone regularly.  So, Snuggles (a blogger himself) says the fun in blogging is debating and arguing in the comments.  He told me to read random blogs to get an idea as to what to talk about.  I just went through the “Freshly Pressed” section of WordPress and the only things I really felt drawn to were posts about TV or titles that seemed amusing.  I read some interesting things, but nothing that really evoked a strong reaction or thought.

I have feelings about things.  I promise I do.  But it feels douchey to hop on someone’s blog and say something negative about their opinion.  I just thought, “You’re an idiot. I’m not reading this anymore.”   I don’t know what I want out of this blogging thing.  It seemed more fun than keeping a journal, plus I wouldn’t have to worry about Hambone stealing my good pen and writing on the dog with it. 

Is there another option?  I just want someone to pop on here and ask how I feel about things.  Or even better, ask for my advice.  I’m great with advice.  I’m going to go get some strong thoughts and feelings.  Actually, I’m going to get chicken fried chicken.  I do feel strongly about chicken fried chicken. 

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A Wrinkle in Time… I wish.

I am many things; chubby, hairy- basically a live action garden gnome on my best day.  Most of the time I’m three hairs from a unibrow.  If I turn my head too fast, I may get smacked in the face by my own chins (yep, plural).  None of the mirrors in our home show anything below the waist , so I don’t even acknowledge anything going on down south.  Vanity has never been an issue for me.

Wait, “vanity” seems derogatory.  I don’t want to imply that basic grooming or checking a mirror to make sure your ass isn’t hanging out is vain.  I just mean I have never made these things a priority.

So, someone please explain to me why I’m price checking Botox??  It’s the BOOB WRINKLE!!!  I noticed a couple months ago that a heinous little bastard of a wrinkle has bought real estate between the only two features I do like.  What is it?  Where did it come from?  Why does it hate me?  How is it visible with or without a bra?  Without a bra my boobs aren’t even on my chest.  They are resting comfortably around my belly button…

It’s not that I’m wrinkle free (or even wrinkle resistant).  Crows feet?  Got ’em.  Crazy, frowny lines across my forehead?  Whatever.  Even that bitch of a line above my nose is hidden by my unibrow.  But this… this… cleavage crinkle…  this bust in my bust is driving me crazy!  I even bought “wrinkle repair” cream (without a coupon, no less) and have been slatherin’ it on like ranch on buffalo wings (or anything, really) and NOTHING!  There’s only one thing left to do.  Snuggles is going to have to install smaller mirrors.

 

We’ll Make It Work

I wish I could tell you that I left a promising career to be a stay at home mom.  That sounds very noble and self-sacrificey.  It would be a big, fat lie.  I was a desk jockey and an average one at that.  I lack the drive and ambition to make any career “promising.”  The truth is that I’m 37 with a resume loaded with impressive accomplishments (most of which so euphemistically soaked they were laughable).  I sat behind a desk and thought that if I didn’t make a change, I would turn 40, then 50 behind a desk doing something safe and easy.  That guy I married, henceforth referred to as Snuggles, had been staying at home with our daughter, Hambone, since birth.  He had become remarkably unhealthy and depressed.  He needed to get out of this house and talk to real folks.

I woke up one Sunday and just couldn’t bear the thought of going to work the next day.  To his credit, when I told Snuggles I needed a break from my career, he told me to find something I would enjoy.  A very hard truth is that I don’t enjoy anything that would generate an income.  My earning potential far outweighs Snuggles’. He was willing to return to work, but couldn’t see how we could afford for me to stay home.  I just kept saying, “We’ll make it work.”

So, a plan in place, we took a month to build our savings, find Snuggles a job, and build up a stockpile of food and stuff we needed (I do enjoy couponing).  That final month at my job was probably one of the most productive of my time there.  I wanted to leave on a good note.  I knew I would probably be returning to that industry with my tail between my legs.

It turns out the stay at home mom gig is tedious at times, but not as difficult as I expected (so far, anyway).  I know Hambone a little better.  I got some projects done I have been putting off.  I still have not mastered keeping the house spotless.  Hambone can undo all my cleaning efforts in a matter of minutes.  I get up early to make Snuggles breakfast and pack his lunch.  After he’s gone, I get Hambone fed and watered.  I throw something in the crock pot for supper and then I clean up.  I play with Hambone and I’ve even managed to catch up on some shows on Netflix.

We’re making it work.

I decided to start blogging because I have lots to say about lots of things.  When I told Snuggles I was starting a blog, he wanted to know what about.  Truth is, I don’t know.  I’m hoping to figure that out somewhere along the way.